by John Wydra
WydeWorld.com
04/12/07
Before every election, groups like the bi-partisan League of Women Voters dutifully remind us how important everyone’s vote is. How many times have we been told that some elections have been decided by only a handful of votes, even just a single vote? We’re told that no election should be thought of as “guaranteed,” as Thomas E. Dewey learned in 1948. We are led to believe that the candidate who gets the most votes wins. Of course that’s now a quaint little civics footnote, hard to accept ever since the 2000 presidential election, which proved rather well that the candidate with the most votes doesn’t always win. It’s an inconvenient truth. Just ask Al Gore.
Just exactly how much is one measly vote worth anyway? Well, in some countries, it’s not worth spit, since “elections” there are foregone conclusions. Take Saddam Hussein for instance. He was so well liked by his countrymen that when he “ran” for dictat…I mean president, he received 99% of the vote! You could call it the mother of all rubber stamps. Even 99% wasn’t good enough for him, so he had his opposition candidates jailed or executed. To say he buried his opponents was more than just a figure of speech.
The point is, in a democracy, and I’m told we still have one that struggles to function, one vote, your vote, my vote, is supposed to be worth something. A philosopher might even say it’s priceless.
Since my vote does have some sort of value, I’ve decided to cash in on it. I hate to sound crass, but baby needs a new pair of shoes and at my level of income, the tax cut Bush gave me won’t cover it. So I’d like something more substantial in return for my vote, like maybe free gasoline for life, whatever. I’m through giving my vote away scot-free to some schmoe just because he promises to do something, like protect poor endangered rats being evicted from fast food restaurants in New York City. No, when it comes to my vote, no more free lunch. Everything has a price. Just ask Jack Abramoff. (If you really want to, you have to write him at the Federal Correctional Institution, Cumberland, Maryland. His inmate number is 27593-112. I’m sure he’ll be most happy to hear from you. He's expected to be there about another 5 years, since he has not received a get-out-of-jail pass from President Bush, like Scooter Libby got. Guess he wasn't one of the Bush Pioneers.)
Maybe I’ll post my vote on eBay. I mean, geez, if they can peddle one of Paris Hilton’s bras she never wore, then I can certainly sell my vote I haven’t used.
I’m willing to forego my Constitutional right to cast a ballot. Better to disenfranchise myself before a paperless voting machine does. Call me irresponsible, but I’ve lost interest in upholding 2 centuries of tradition. I’m not exactly alone either. In America, the majority doesn’t rule. The majority doesn’t participate. I’m not afraid to admit that I no longer believe all that patriotic mumbo-jumbo about validating my citizenship by making my “voice” heard on election day. Every vote doesn’t count. That’s what the US Supreme Court said in the 2000 election when it disenfranchised thousands of voters in Florida. For my conservative friends, c’mon, you know it’s true.
Anyway, I’m taking offers. I want to be one of those guys some sanctimonious politicians are always complaining about, you know, “special interests.” That’s what I want to be, a special interest. I’m especially interested in what it costs per-vote these days.
When multi-billionaire Michael Bloomberg ran for Mayor of New York City in 2001, he spent about $74-million of his own money to get elected. He received 744,757 votes. Rounding off the numbers, that comes out to about $99 per-vote. Not bad. But he outdid himself in getting re-elected in 2005 when he spent about $80-million for 753,089 votes. That comes out to roughly $106-per vote. Who wouldn’t take that? Instead of spending all that loot on slick TV ads, bus backs, intrusive phone banks, and walk around money, why not just go directly to the source, and pay each voter $106?
Same thing in New Jersey, where Jon Corzine, who is now the Governor, spent $63-million to get elected US Senator in 2001 in the most expensive US Senate campaign in history…to that point. He got about 1,225,000 votes, which comes out to about $51-per vote. Realizing I presume that he would have to do better, in the 2005 New Jersey Gubernatorial election, Corzine is said to have shelled out $100-million or more. That raised the per-vote cost to about $80. Bloomberg still had him beat, but Corzine got the hang of it.
Now remember, we’re talking about just 2 candidates here in 2 different elections. Multiply that by say 6 or 8 candidates per election cycle, each paying individual voters for their ballots, then we could be talking about some serious cost-per-vote money here. And there’s another benefit. I’ll betcha it would get more people to the polls if they knew they’d get paid for it. After all, nothing else seems to be working. Oh, it’s also helpful to remember that the figures cited here are not precise, since election law does not require a candidate to divulge how much he spent on his campaign if he used his own money.
Now some people object that getting elected is more than ever a rich man’s game, that it’s not fair to have the resources to “buy” an office, whether using one’s own money, or someone else’s. And that’s a key point in my argument about the value of my vote.
You see, if Mike or Jon spend gazillions of their own money, then who are they beholden to? No one. If your average, run-of-the-mill do-gooder-cum-hypocrite gets elected by taking money from corporations, labor unions, or professional groups, then it’s axiomatic…they owe those donors, they have a debt to pay by way of their votes in office, right? Everyone knows that! So if I can sell my vote directly to the candidate, who is he or she obligated to? Why me of course! Voila! A return to democracy as the founders designed it, my representatives representing my interests!
So c’mon candidates. Make me an offer I can’t refuse. After all, if members of Congress can sell their votes to the highest bidders on K street, then why the hell can’t I?